We can grow the relationship with ourselves by utilizing different tools. Slowing things down so we can hear the faint stirrings held deep within us can be a perfect place to start. For me, what worked was journaling and reflecting. Mornings work best for me to practice focused self-care, but in truth, I take moments of self-care throughout each day. I try to spend 5-10 minutes on most days doing some sort of self-love practice, and I trust whatever I do is exactly what is needed. I have also loosened the reigns of perfection and strive for something I affectionately call B- work. B- work is an important and liberating concept especially for my perfectionist readers. More to come on this concept.
Essentially, what is needed is a framework that helps you to show up consistently and allows you to gently and compassionately explore and grow to understand who you are, what is important to you, where you are hurting, what might need healing, what might be possible for you, and so on. Below, I share an exercise that can help start the exploration, and if this kind of work is done consistently, you will see how even a day can yield very different thoughts. The process is one that requires some time to unfold and reveal yourself to you, but if you stick with it and let go of perfection, you will reap beautiful and lasting rewards.
I was committed to changing myself and loving myself from the inside out. I wanted desperately to let go of what others thought of me and to be free to choose what my heart desired without worry of judgement or how it would look to the outside world. I stumbled upon something that seemed unimportant at first. It was a simple practice of completing some targeted sentences. I call them sentence stems. Eventually, I went on to develop the Uncovering You Program and instead of it being a solo journey, it morphed into a group program because the benefits of learning who you are while sharing this kind of journey in a loving and supportive group of people doing the same inner work is amazing and deeply healing.
If you’re ready to get started, pour yourself a cup of coffee or tea, grab a journal and a pen or a laptop, sit back and begin to explore right where you are. I invite you to start or to continue your own self-discovery journey by spending 5-10 minutes each day for one week finishing the following sentence stems. The trick is to not over think it and to give yourself permission to be creative and curious and see what unfolds. For me, I simply and quickly jotted down 5-10 responses to each stem and then reflected on all of my responses at the end of the week. I loved what unfolded and how it helped me grow my self-knowledge. It was such an effective tool for me that I kept it up for 30 weeks! Even now, I periodically go back and do this work because I was amazed at how I shifted and grew during that time simply because I brought awareness to my every day thinking and allowed for something new to be possible as I did this exercise. If nothing else, you will gain some insight into yourself and will have begun cultivating this most special and important relationship with you. Give it a go and let me know what you discover in the comments below or by emailing me.
Sentence Stem #1: If I were confident in asking for what I want, I would…
Sentence Stem #2: If I were able to quiet the inner critic for just a few moments, I might…
Sentence Stem #3: If I chose from a place of deep integrity from within myself, I would…
If you find you would like to continue this exploration, need some more prompts or pointers, or would like to take this work deeper, I would be honored to help you uncover and discover you. I found my gift of helping people fall in love with themselves and now I want to share that gift with the world. I always had these gifts, but they lay buried beneath years of self-rejection and non-acceptance. Not anymore. I heard my inner voice and listened. What became clear to me is how much energy and joy I could feel simply by listening, intuiting, and following that voice. I want everyone I meet to feel this and experience such opening and possibility.
What about you? What inner gems might you unearth? Give yourself this gift of inquiry and please reach out if you’d like some help along the way. I’d love to have you join my tribe and work with you to wake up those inner flames and fan them for the world to see. There is only one of you and your unique combination of gifts are needed in this world. Let’s uncover them and start sharing them out loud, unapologetically, and proudly! You are so worth it!